When Comfort Food Doesn't Help...

A steaming hot bowl of noodles or even a PBJ sandwich is my version of comfort food. What is yours?

We all have read about comfort food, something that reminds you of a happy childhood memory, or something that uplifts your mood, or something that just makes you feel happy again.
It could be something as simple as a bowl of soupy maggi with ketchup or some fish and chips with a spicy mayonnaise dip.

Though I am a foodie and would go to any length for good food, there are times when I feel food doesn't help. Times when you feel lost, and have no real idea about what is happening or what is going to happen in the future. So I thought- What about comfort food? Will that make me feel better?
But I realized that sometimes that is of no help either.

So this post isn't related to food this time.

                                 
It is about the intense feelings and emotions that you go through when it seems like everything is alright (inside you and around you), but you still feel nothing's really right ( probably with you). I went through such a time. While I wanted people around me to be happy, I felt my efforts weren't enough to make them happy.

My intentions have always been good- this is something I say with confidence because I follow a straightforward policy of "Live and let live". It is a simple give and take relationship and a lot of people around me have not been able to accept this approach amicably ( I still fail to understand why), due to which I have been wrongfully held responsible for things and events which did not concern me. All because I've made myself "available to everyone all the time". I had this idea in my mind for a long time (mostly professionally, and I must admit I was so wrong!) that the more I would contribute to others, in terms of work, help, advice etc, the more I would get back. But no! That was not to happen! I was left feeling disappointed and hurt in the end.

I can't help noticing this but I kept asking myself time and again - Why should I face such situations so often? What have I done to see this coming my way?
You start doubting your own intentions. Your confidence goes for a toss. You're reduced to a person who has nothing but hatred for your own self. I come to this realization that people pleasing tactics are sometimes just veiled attempts to make them reciprocate the way you want them to.

I end up venting my feelings at my brother who patiently listens to what I have to say. He says just one thing- the world loves you, but maybe not now? But it surely will. It has plans for you. Things will fall in place eventually.

What really matters is that you continue to love the people who value you. Who willingly love you back. Who are ready to stand beside you all their life. You only need to realize who they are and let the others go.

As the Dalai Lama says- Be Wise Selfish, not Foolish Selfish!
Meet your own needs first so that you can fulfill the needs of others around you; love yourself like never before; only then would you be able to love others more.

A lot of us got through a phase like this where things are really not what they seem to be. And running away looks like the only way out. But you can draw a silver lining around your cloud of sadness/ depression/ anxiety/ fear. Its all in the mind. Learn to be friends with it. It will guide you in the right direction. It helps me, I'm sure it will help others too.

 By the time I finish this post, I receive a bunch of roses from my fiance and that makes me realize that people like him make my world so beautiful. Its just an unlimited dose of positivity and confidence that I need to store in me. The rest will be taken care of by the mind.

And then, there's the comfort of comfort food too!